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I feel vulnerable tonight. It's a pleasant sort of vulnerable... the kind where your heart is wide open and all you really want is a smile. I can look back on what I've lived of my life and find lots of happy moments, the only problem is for every happy moment there is a shadow that has been cast over it. I need someone or something to lift the cloud that hangs over my life. I've been letting go of a lot of things the past several weeks. I've started to see that life would be dull without the ghosts that haunt me. They keep me company, they keep me sane. I'm finally able to focus on reading again, all I need now is a hot bubble bath to curl up with a book in. Either that or I want the bubble bath so I can slit my wrists in it.