falling in the first place

compassion
for the whole world
everyone in it
pain
blinded to my own
passion
rain falls down
the earth cries
i feel

Tonight was a coffee shop night, another one. My friends and their interventions, people are always trying to save me. I had a free moment to myself when they took a group trip to the bathroom, I took the opportunity to scrawl a note on my napkin... the poem above. They tell me that I feel too strongly for the rest of the world, that I worry about everyone but myself. This is becoming such a familar tune, so many people telling me the same old story. Why? The world clearly is never going to care about itself, someone has to care. To simply touch one life... just one, is all I could ever imagine asking for. So what if it kills me in the process? What are we but humans put on this earth to feel? What do we feel? Sadness, happiness... aren't they essentially the same? They intertwine so perfectly... you can't fully appreciate one without the other. They all tell me that I am too "nice" what does this "nice" word mean? Perhaps I will venture to the dictionary...

pleasing
agreeable
delightful
virtuous
respectable
suitable
proper

...just what every girl wants to hear I'm sure. So that is how I appear? That's good to know I suppose. It is technically what I desire from life, to be the "nice" one. I prefer the word passionate. Why can't anyone ever use that? That's what I am, that's what I see. Passion. Let's look that one up...

having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling

...now I can't tell you why but that sounds so much more appropriate. I have strong feelings for so many things... none of them being myself, but that is beside the point. The most beautiful thing a human being can possess is passion. In fact, I'll go further than that to say that once passion is present, it is awe-inspiring to see it channeled into compassion...

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering

...that is beauty. To alleviate the suffering of the world. I think I've figured it out, I have been going through life pouring my heart and soul into the world, with such an innocence, or naiveness if you must, as to believe that if by giving my all and leaving none for myself that I will meet someone who does the same.